Breaking Up With Mary

Breakup stories are usually heartbreaking. Some are funny, but despite how funny the story may be, it is usually a story about someone's pain. Today I want to share with you some important lessons from one of the funniest breakup stories ever told. Though the breakup eventually didn't happen, the story reveals how some breakups are absolutely unnecessary and highly avoidable.

I want to share with you a story of a young man who was in a very serious relationship. Proposals had been made and arrangements for weddings were ongoing. However, just close to the official wedding ceremony, he found out that his spouse had become pregnant and he was not the one responsible. How heartbreaking such a discovery would have been for Joseph. I could imagine how many sleepless nights he had had thinking about what was happening.

The way the Bible presents the story of Joseph and Mary suggests that Mary made no effort to tell Joseph about what was happening to her. And I could understand that position very well: How can you explain to your fiance that the holy spirit got you pregnant. You are likely to sound both very stupid and mad. You won't make sense at all. One thing Joseph would have thought, 'Mary has been going out with other men'.

Oh, how many times people have broken up so fast that they couldn't get to know each other. They couldn't understand the situation the other person was dealing with. If only they were not too quick to act, they probably would have discovered another side of the story that would have made a difference. A friend just told you that the lady you're in a relationship with already had a baby. She would have told you first you thought, hence you were so angry that you couldn't even listen to her. You said it was over. How she tried to let you know that she planned to tell you, but you won't even hear her out.

We all need to know that empathy and love can coexist with our high standards. Upon discovery, Joseph was not quick to disgrace Mary. He had thought of it and concluded that it doesn't make sense to continue the relationship. But he was so concerned about how to end it without causing her beloved Mary to become public ridicule. Oh my! How much I'm continually touched and challenged by this attitude.

At this point of both pain and disappointment, Joseph was concerned with how his action might affect Mary. Oh how fast many rushes to their Whatsapp status, Twitter handle, Instagram, etc. How easily the so-called Love is untouched by the reality of the other person. How selfish we have become with our 'love'. 'Love is jealous' they say. How much I hate such statements! I wish I could squeeze in a similar experience I had. How I was so touched, disturbed by the mistake of a very close friend when others only felt angry for her. I remember all the sacrifices I had to make at a point when many other people would have felt nothing but anger and betrayal.

Furthermore, we should understand that our human knowledge and mind is highly limited. Paul said 'we know in part'. As Joseph was considering the next step, the bible said that an angel of the Lord came and explained to him that there is more to Mary's pregnancy. He believed the angel and despite how difficult it is to accept that such could happen, Joseph believed and that saved the relationship. Until you think deeply of this, you won't understand how challenging this experience would have been for Joseph and Mary and what it takes to accept to continue the relationship at that point.

I know you're angry. Yes, your mother told you not to marry from that tribe. When you are growing up, you have always wanted a tall man. It was your dream to tie the knot with a woman that is 'big'. But have you thought of what might be God's mind in the relationship? Maybe there is something God is telling you but you won't hear. Maybe you need to pay attention enough to know what is God's mind. If Joseph did not follow God's mind concerning the situation, he would have missed a lifetime opportunity. Humble yourself, deal with your anger and your so-called 'Jealousy' and listen to God. Maybe you're actually the one that needs changing. Don't allow what people will say to destroy what God wants you to keep. (But be careful, because God might communicate through people).

Finally, a relationship is a call for commitment. We live in a generation where commitment is not a regular word. People are not ready to make sacrifices. It is just the feelings, ego, and what they get. When the feeling fades, everything fades. How terrible! The prevalent culture does not even allow many to see how bad society has become. How selfish the world is tending to. But you can be different. You can walk in love even when it demands serious sacrifices. You can even when the goosebumps are not present. Imagine the kind of sacrifice Joseph had to make, 'But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.' (Matthew 1:25).

How painful it is to only know our lover after we let go. Maybe you should not let go.