What God Demands From Husbands

Over the years, what it means to be a good wife has been greatly emphasized. We have been told about the submission and humility of a godly wife. When it comes to men, the only thing that is said frequently about being a husband is man's responsibility to provide for the family. When there is an issue in a marriage, some persons have been programmed by their culture or their society to assume by default that the woman must have been responsible for the problem. As a result, there are so many irresponsible husbands in the world who have no idea how irresponsible they are.

Though I believe a man should provide for his household, the verse of the bible (1 Timothy 5:8) which many use to promote this idea is not actually directed to husbands. However, God placed a far greater demand on husbands. He does not want the man to see his responsibility at home as a matter of 'how much', that is why he raised the bar far higher. It is very scary to know what God actually demands from husbands. Studying it some years back made me quite uncomfortable and I wondered if God wants husbands to do the impossible. Ephesians 5:25 reads, 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her'. Did you see that: to love the woman as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her!

It is painful how the world has reduced love to nothing. Many will read the above scripture and feel like: 'yeah I love my wife she is even my social media profile picture' when they have no idea what it really means to love. The bible was careful not to leave this to assumption. It describes the kind of love men are expected to have for their wives. It is practical love. It is Christ's kind of love. God actually wants husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the Church even to the extent of laying down his life. How many men have ever tried to measure their love against Christ's love for the church? Have you ever tried to do that? How many even understand the depth of Christ's love for the church. Jesus gave the church his all, he even laid down his life as a result of such love.

So, you need to love your wife as Christ loved the church. That's God's demand from you as a husband. The church members have failed God several times, but God has not ceased to love the church. Prophet Hosea was told to marry and love a harlot that will continue her harlotry even while in marriage just to demonstrate how much God loves His people. You can see how much Christ loves the church, and understand how much men are expected to love their wives. You're not to love in words, but to really love practically. This responsibility by extension involves creating an environment of love in the house. Many homes are such a hostile place that the air around the house naturally testifies of the absence of love. Dear husband, your home should not be so. It is your duty to fill your home with love, with Christ kind of love. You should make love your primary responsibility, and make out time to learn what love entails.

Remember love cannot be outsourced, you can't replace it with gifts or money or even sweet names. Love can do all these, but love is far beyond these. Apostle Paul presented some of the key characteristics of love which has become to me a valuable means of accessing love. 'Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, and it is not proud. Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. Love is never happy when others do wrong, but it is always happy with the truth. Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits.' (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)

So be determined to make your home 'love paradise'. This is not a question of how good your wife is, this is God's demand from you no matter what. You should not love her after she submits to you, you're to love her because she is your wife. You are to love her as Christ loves the church. Never underestimate the power of love. If you commit yourself to loving her in sincerity and in truth, you will be amazed how much love transforms others. Always remember the words of the apostle John, 'My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but indeed and in truth.' (1 John 3:18), and that of Paul, 'Your love must be real. Hate what is evil. Do only what is good.' (Romans 12:9).